She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
