I think I died a long time ago.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
time to smoke my breakfast
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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