He asked to "fluff my boner.."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Thank you for not boning my boss.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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