I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
