Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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