maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The best revenge is premature balding
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
