I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
