I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
