D3 body, D1 cock
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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