It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
