The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
