i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
