i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
