it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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