so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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