Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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