so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
