i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
