I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
