he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I could fuck to npr.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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