That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
