I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
