lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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