Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
