and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
