hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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