what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
