@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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