she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Someone came in the potted fern
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
