i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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