guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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