So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
