Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
