i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
