As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
