It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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