Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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