Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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