Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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