I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
