help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
