Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
