we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
