so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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