guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
