i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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