puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
