I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
