he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
