I'm eating all of the evidence.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
