I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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