The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
