you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
